Not Jane Austen but has a Devious Mind.

Imperfectly Innocent, the third instalment of the Tufton Street Saga was published on September 30^th. Did you notice?

I suspect not, it was a rather quiet affair. No fuss, no book signing launch, no radio interviews - no expectation perhaps? The previous two books in the series were launched with a book signing at my local bookstore, but not this time. I had called in to the store, a couple of times, to talk to them and was advised to email the manager. On neither occasion had she been on site. Her reply was prompt and courteous, saying that they no longer host book signings,‘due to space and safety considerations for both our customers and staff’. Well, they really are a rather small bookshop, though her response did come as a bit of a surprise. The day before they had hosted a Fantasy Book Club event with a book signing by Felicity Epps, and back in June, Mick Herron and Mark Billingham had ‘popped in’ and signed some of their books. Ah well, local author launches third book isn’t going to draw in the crowds is it.

Nor did I pick up any radio interviews this time, but that didn’t surprise me. Social Media influencers and news hungry journalists are looking for something...well...errr…new. ‘Hopeful old codger publishes first book at 70’ will grab more attention, albeit the sympathy vote, than unknown, or perhaps I should say, unrecognised author bangs out another book.

I did pick up two reviews on the advanced review copy site Netgalley. One 5 star and one 4 star. Unfortunately I, and presumably no-one else, can access the actual reviews any more.

The least said about the Goodreads website, the better. I have yet to pick up a review for Unsavoury Business on that portal.

Despite their good efforts on social media and some rather splendid graphics for both this book and the Tufton Street Saga series, I was even a little disappointed with my publisher – sorry ladies but I was. They typically launch four books a month, but in September they published five. During the month before launch, four of them featured on a rolling banner across their website home page. My disappointment will tell you which one didn’t.

It is perhaps a little early to expect too much from Amazon reviews, though I have picked up one 5 star review from the USA. Statistical trends, however, tell me not to have high expectations. The Death of a Smoker attracted 12 reviews, Unsavoury Business only 3. I note that one of the Unsavoury Business reviewers did say, ‘Can’t wait for book three’. I hope they have not been disappointed.

Reviews aside, what about rankings? A day or so after publication I was surprised and elated to find that Imperfectly Innocent was listed at no.13 in one of Amazon’s lists. Perhaps elated is too strong a word, perhaps perplexed would be a better description. I may have been ranked at no.13, but for reasons that elude me, the category was ‘German Literature'. In the past week, I do seem to have slipped off the radar in that particular listing but I haven’t given up hope. This morning I discovered that The Death of a Smoker and Unsavoury Business Kindle editions have both entered a new category, listed at 224 and 324 respectively. Which category is that you ask? ‘Russian and Soviet Literature ebooks’, of course! Don’t ask me why, I have no idea, Unsavoury Business doesn’t even have anyone from Russia in the character list.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying all this for sympathy, or with any hint of doom and gloom. I do get a wry sense of amusement from it all. Anybody who ventures into the world of publishing books with the expectation of making a fortune, simply hasn’t done their homework. Most books make a loss, it’s just the way it is. They say Mick Herron’s first book in the Slough House series did so badly that his publisher turned down his next two efforts, yet he went on to become an ‘overnight sensation’ five or six years later. Even so he is still the exception. You have to write books because you want to, and of course you should try your hand at publishing them, but you have to be realistic. When I say ‘most books make a loss’ that applies to the big publishing houses too. It’s the Mick Herron’s and the Richard Osman’s who keep them in business. If you have read their books you will know why.

On the subject of Herron and Osman, needless to say, should Apple TV or Netflix want to contact me for their next blockbuster series, I shall be delighted to take the call. Move over George Smiley, meet Harry Nevile, the new face of MI5.

Osman’s books do well, not just because he is a well known personality. The Thursday Murder Club series may not be ‘great literature’ but the couple that I have read were entertaining and well written. I have also enjoyed works by other TV personalities, including Graham Norton, Robert Peston and Tom Bradbury. All more enjoyable, and to my mind better written than Hilary Mantel’s best seller, Wolf Hall. Her insistence on referring to Cromwell in the third person and never by name caused confusion that drove me to distraction. That and, what was for a major publishing house, an embarrassing number of typos – in the Kindle edition at least.

The truth is, as a reviewer of a very early, and to be honest rather poor, manuscript of The Death of a Smoker pointed out, I am not Jane Austen. I think that is my all time favourite review quote and it still makes me smile. Perhaps it will be the first part of my literary epitaph. The second part being a comment by an early reader of Imperfectly Innocent, someone I know, who said, ‘I never knew you had such a devious mind’.

He wasn’t Jane Austen but he had a devious mind. That will do nicely, thank you very much.